Valerie Bertinelli has been practising ignoring her inner critic.
Her latest book, “Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I Am Today,” is based on her journey to self-acceptance (available now). The actress and Food Network star recounts her preoccupation with her size throughout the collection of articles detailing her self-doubt, friendship with rocker Eddie Van Halen, and the problems affecting her second marriage. She began weighing herself twice a day at the age of 13, “never being happy or content with the number I see.” When her show “One Day at a Time” premiered, she was 15 years old and began dieting.
Bertinelli, 61, tells USA TODAY that letting go of her old habits of thinking has been a long journey because she created a link between weight and worth at a young age.
She explains, “I taught from a very young age that growing weight made me unlovable.” “When my mother acquired weight, I saw my father lose interest in her. ‘You’d best watch that,’ said an elementary school teacher, pointing to my stomach. I wasn’t even conscious of my own body before that. I’m doing everything I can to get that out of my system. However, it takes time.”
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“Enough Already” was also a vehicle for Bertinelli’s grief following the death of her first husband, Van Halen, a Rock & Roll Hall of Fame member. Bertinelli began writing the book mere weeks after the guitarist’s death on Oct. 6, 2020, from cancer.
“I wasn’t planning on writing a book on grieving when I started it,” she adds, “but I was in the midst of it.” “Writing about it ended up being quite cathartic.”
Bertinelli talks about the “instantaneous and reciprocal” attraction the two had when they met backstage at a Van Halen concert, as well as the enduring love they shared, even after their 20-year marriage ended in 2001.
In “Enough Already,” she says, “Ed and I grew even closer together.”
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In the book, she refers to him as a “soulmate,” but he isn’t her only one. “I believe we meet people who are destined to go through difficulties together,” she adds, adding that she feels part of the couple’s purpose was to bring their only child, musician Wolfgang Van Halen (called Wolfie), into the world.
“I can’t get people to understand because it’s so intimate,” she says, “but I’ve never felt love like that.” “Despite all of the horrific things we did to each other, there were a lot of beautiful things as well. I don’t think I’ve ever been loved like that, or in that way, by anyone else. Ed and I just have a connection that I’ve never had with anyone else.”
“Love isn’t a big enough term for the feeling that Ed felt for me, and that I felt for him,” she says, adding, “Love isn’t a big enough word for the feeling that Ed felt for me, and that I felt for him.”
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On Aug. 22, 2012, Valerie Bertinelli and Tom Vitale exchange a look as the actress receives her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
While Bertinelli writes extensively about her first marriage, there are few anecdotes about her second spouse, Tom Vitale. After a decade of marriage, Bertinelli filed for official separation in November.
“I tried to be incredibly respectful to Tom and (Van Halen’s wife until his death, Janie Liszewski) because they’re private people,” Bertinelli explains. “All I was attempting to do was share the tale of my relationship with Ed without being unpleasant.”
She talks about how she came to the choice to break up with Vitale “”Enough Already” is described as “a protracted, agonising process.” But we’ve strayed from the common interests that brought us together, and we’ve discovered that those differences are irreversible. He is a nice man who is dealing with many of the same concerns that I am: What can he do to give his life more meaning and purpose? Where can he find happiness? What does he care about? What has he discovered? And what will he do differently in the future? We were on different roads than we thought we were on.”
Bertinelli claims that her divorce has “nothing to do with Ed” and that her marital problems date back five years.
Today, Bertinelli and Vitale are “friends,” according to Bertinelli. “I only want the best for him,” she continues, “but I think I need to be alone.” “I’m not sure what will happen, but I simply need to be alone right now.”
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